So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
