I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
