I must be too annoying 4 u.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
