Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
