The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
