Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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