I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
