Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
