i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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