And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
