Small penises have feelings too.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
