morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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