talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
