Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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