strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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