At least make sure they are 18
Why
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
