some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
How external is "for external use only"?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
