I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
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