New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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