chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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