It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
