"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
