I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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