U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The uberlube is also flammable
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
