I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize