no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
