Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
