What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
