either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
