I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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