If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
