btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
