Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize