We won't sleep together?
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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