This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
