i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
