2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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