i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
