No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
