New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
