Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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