I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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