I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
