Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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