Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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