Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
