she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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