Small penises have feelings too.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
