Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
