When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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