Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
