i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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