when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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