he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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