Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
