How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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