i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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