He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
