My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Holy shit dude........stairs
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