I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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