i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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