NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Watching her eat just hurts me
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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