I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
