Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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