i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
