just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
