Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
why is half of my head shaved?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
