windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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